So what is porn and sex addiction?
“Sex addiction is a term that describes a pattern of sexual behaviour that is compulsive, preoccupies and causes problems in someone’s life. The behaviour is difficult to stop and to stay stopped.”
How much sex or the type of sex does not define sexual addiction. Sex is used like a drug to manage, often unconsciously, painful emotions and beliefs about oneself. Sex addiction may be affecting your day to day life as well as impacting on your relationships, work, health and finances. Your behaviour that feels out of control may leave you being stressed, anxious and exhausted.
The behaviours that you are engaging in, may themselves not be an issue but it’s the fact that you no longer seem to have control over these behaviours. It may be that you have tried in the past to stop only to start again. What you are doing may be escalating and you are now spending increased time in planning, engaging in and recovering from your acting out. This may be the difference between being an addict or not.
The acting out may include a single behaviour or many different types of sexual behaviour. Some examples are:
- Compulsive viewing of pornography
- Compulsive sexting
- Visiting sex workers
- Visiting chat rooms and online sex sites
- Having multiple ongoing affairs
- Compulsive masturbation
- Exhibitionism
- Voyeurism
- Fetishes
- Illegal sexual practices
Compulsive sexual behaviour may stem from events that happened in your early years. It might be in response to the stressors of growing up, including meeting family and social expectations. Alternatively, it might be related to sexual or physical abuse. Extraordinary events and environments beyond your or your family’s control may have contributed to your addictive pattern.
Having a sexual addiction is not a choice and it is not your fault nor that of your partner. You may both find it a shameful, difficult and lonely experience. I offer specialist sex addiction therapy to individuals, partners and couples helping you through challenging times by increasing you understanding of sexual addiction and helping you in making changes that lead to a more fulfilling, healthy experience of sexual relationships. Hopefully you will move to a new lifestyle that fits with how you want to live your life.
If you are worried that you your current behaviour may be that of someone addicted to sex, then click below to download a self-assessment tool for completion.
Am I a sex addict? Take the test - Click here
It is reproduced with the kind permission of ATSAC. This tool is for your purposes only and your answers need not be shared with anyone else.
It can be very difficult to acknowledge that you have a problem but by acknowledging you are taking the first steps on the road to recovery. I will work with you to help you change give you a greater understanding of your behaviour as well as giving you the tools to manage such behaviours e.g. avoiding triggers. The process will allow you to be more in control enabling you to take better charge of your life and then be able to build or rebuild your current and future relationships.
Having compulsive sexual behaviours can be extremely isolating as it can be your secret that you find too difficult to share with family and friends for fear of embarrassment, shame as well as their potentially judgemental and damaging reactions. Therapy offers you a safe, confidential, non-judgemental space to explore what is going on for you. It will also arm you with the tools to help you make the changes you need to make to move towards the place you want to be.
In summary the counselling helps you to:
UNDERSTAND better the issues that are troubling you
ASSESS the exact nature of your struggles
STRATEGIES to put more helpful behaviours in place
If you want to arrange a professional, confidential, non-judgemental counselling session for sex addiction, contact me today Mobile: 07444 767136 | Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.